nyxelestia

Title: Journey Through a Broken Soul
Summary: It has been months since Arthur's capture and disappearance, and Merlin has spent that time looking for him - and finally found. What he found, though, was a broken prince.
Rating: R
Word Count: 1700
Pairings/Character: Arthur/Merlin, Lancelot
Warnings/Content: Violence, (past) non-con, mental trauma, mentions of slavery
Beta: none
Notes: Another map! This one of some probably horribly incorrect tribal placements in Ireland. Also, I'm totally messing with even the mapped out kingdoms of Ireland c. 800 purely because it doesn't make any sense when I look it up on Wikipedia. I'll eventually make a map to fit my version of the screwed up legend (and one of Albion, too).

Watch, somehow I going to get them to Rome and back if I keep researching crap for this fic...

...I just jinxed myself, didn't I? *sighs* Rome? Any takers?

...*headdesk*

~*~

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They landed in Thurso in just three days.

Merlin collapsed from wobbly legs as soon as he stood on land, and kissed the blessedly stable ground again, anyway.

Lancelot was biting back his laughter. Arthur wasn't even bothering, and Merlin had never minded making a fool of himself when it made Arthur laugh.

Merlin hadn't heard that laugh in ten months. Oh, how he missed it. Lancelot was grinning as Arthur leaned against the horse in the force of his laughter.

Merlin wondered how long it has been since Arthur laughed, and immediately pushed that thought away before his mind could wander down that maudlin trail of thought.

Helping Merlin stand up and stay steady, Lancelot said, "Let's go look for an inn or someplace to stay."

With Merlin and Arthur leaning against Hengroen and Lancelot leading the way, they headed into the town.

"Let's try not to do that again," Merlin said.

"It was just the rough water," Arthur promised. "It's not usually that bad."

"It better not be," Merlin grumbled.

Up ahead, Lancelot finally caved in and laughed.

~*~

They found a relatively cheap inn to stay in, a room with two beds, and they got it for free anyway when Merlin redid the entire ledger and account books for the owner.

"This is...surprisingly useful of...of magic," Arthur said, when Merlin had told them the news. "I never thought..."

"Magic is just a force, it's the user that decides good or evil," Merlin said. "And I'm not fond of evil, so..."

"You're incapable of it," Arthur said.

Merlin smiled, and took dinner from the owner's wife when she brought up the tray.

"We should probably be planning our way on," Lancelot said.

"...that can wait until tomorrow, right?" Merlin asked. "Let's just relax for tonight."

"You're just sick, still," Arthur muttered, but he appeared to be on Merlin's side.

Lancelot laughed. "Tomorrow it is, then."

They ultimately had an early night in. Lancelot went to check on their horses one last time, and Merlin laid Arthur down to bed.

"I'm not a child," he insisted as Merlin started tucking him in. He pushed the blanket back and pulled on Merlin's wrist. "You're not sleeping on the floor! I..."

Merlin paused.

"...I feel...better, with you," Arthur said. He swallowed, apparently his pride from the look on his face, and said, "I feel safer with you right next to me."

Merlin relented and slipped into bed beside Arthur, letting Arthur press in close, seeking the comfort of Merlin's body.

"...go to sleep," Merlin said, as he magicked the bedcovers over them.

Arthur nodded, and using Merlin's chest as a convenient pillow, he slowly drifted off. Merlin smiled once he heard the semi-hitches in Arthur's breath - if he were lying on his back, he would be snoring.

Lancelot came in, and smiled at the sight of them.

"You really do take marvelous care of him, Merlin," Lancelot said. "I can't imagine him without you."

"I don't want to imagine him without me," Merlin said. "Just look at what happened the last ten months..."

Lancelot nodded, climbing into his own bed. "Well, we're here now. All we can do his help him."

"Yeah..."

"Goodnight, Merlin."

"Goodnight, Lancelot."

Lancelot tucked himself in as Merlin spelled out the candled, before he turned his head and murmured softly into his prince's hair,

"Goodnight, Arthur. Sweet dreams."

~*~

In the end, they opted to stick to their original plan: Wick, Strathpeffer, Apple Cross, then slip into Dal Riata. From there, they'd either continue South into Northumbria or go West to Eire. Arthur had to bite his lip to keep in his amusement at Merlin's disappointment at the lack of proper maps of the country. They were starting to seem to be an obsession of his...

"I just don't know what Eire's like, I can't guarantee your safety," Lancelot said when Arthur brought it up again.

"Let's just focus on getting to Applecross and Dal Riata, first," Merlin insisted. "We can figure them out from there." He turned to Arthur. "Have you ever met any of the Irish Royalty?"

"No," Arthur said. "Father abhors them - they are very content with magic, the Old Religion, and Druids are very much still a part of their kingdoms."

Merlin nodded, and for a moment Arthur had a sudden, bone-chilling thought - what if Merlin liked a kingdom of magic? Liked it...and stayed?

Maybe Eire wasn't such a great idea, after all...but no, Merlin was loyal to him, always...right?

...right?

Oh, fuck, what had he done?

"Dal Riata is fairly neutral territory," Merlin said, forging onwards, oblivious to Arthur's newfound apprehension. "Eirenn, but a part of Albion."

"And it's coastal areas probably will be isolated from the Picts' war," Lancelot said.

And will be a place teeming with Druids and magic, a place where he would stand out and Merlin would fit in.

"You know, we could try going west directly," Merlin said. "Get to Lochinvar, get a boat to the Long Isles, go south along them and get another boat to Eire? It would save us the trouble of getting through Scetis."

"Yes, but if we go through Scetis, we will know more about the Picts, Eire, and everything else," Arthur said. "The more we know, the better."

He'd been cut off from the main reality of the world long enough. He needed to know things, and soon.

He said as much when Merlin looked about ready to protest.

Merlin gave him a long, speculative look, before nodding and looking back down at the maps.

"I think we can safely take a shorter way through North Fortriu," Merlin said. "Just straight southwest, Thurso to Lairg, then there to Applecross."

Lancelot nodded, tracing his finger over the path again and again. "Perfect. Mostly isolated lands, easy to travel through, but enough towns to stop and resupply safely."

On one hand, this was a faster way to Camelot. On the other hand, this was a faster way to Eire.

Arthur nodded. Because...he wouldn't lose Merlin, not again. He'd find some way of making sure of it.

Merlin smiled as he put away the maps, before looking between Lancelot's horse, Concorde, and Arthur's, Hengroen.

"If we're going to be traveling this much, I think we'll need another horse," Merlin said.

"...can you get one?" Arthur asked.

Merlin smiled. "I have my ways."

"He got me this one," Lancelot said, vaguely gesturing towards his horse, Concorde.

"How?" Arthur asked.

"I repaired the owner's barn," Merlin said. "It was completely destroyed, from raiders and a storm. I practically just had to rebuild it."

"Yourself?" Arthur asked, surprised. "How long did that take?"

"Two days."

It would take two weeks to do that with an entire clan of men helping to build a barn, minimum. To even try single-handedly, and to do so in two days...

"How powerful are you, again?" Arthur asked.

"...I don't know, and I don't want to know," Merlin said.

~*~

This time, however, Merlin just planned to buy the horse.

"My father seriously gave you that?" he asked as Merlin counted out coins from a satchel. That wasn't exactly much gold for his father, but to just give it away, along with the sodding horse...

"I think he was hoping everyone was wrong, and that I would find you," Merlin said, once he had roughly the amount of coins he would need, and put away the rest in Hengroen's saddlebag. "That or he really just pitied me."

"...it's a lot to give for a search of a dead man," Arthur said, softly.

"It was nothing at all for a search for his son," Merlin said glibly. He suddenly reached over and clutched Arthur's hand in his own. "Come...come with me?"

Arthur blinked, confused.

"...I'm rather hesitant to let you out of my sight at this point," Merlin admitted sheepishly.

Arthur rolled his eyes and grumbled again, "I'm not a child!" But he went, anyway.

~*~

Thurso had a lively trading center, and it was easy enough to find a good horse dealer.

Arthur was actually starting to enjoy himself. He helped Merlin haggle the price for a young white mare, Llamrei, and they walked back slowly, idly, enjoying the sight of the lively town. Merlin didn't miss the way Arthur stayed close to him, never straying more than a foot or two away from his side, but he didn't mind it at all, simply brushing his arm against Arthur's often as they took a shortcut back to the inn through one of the town's hidden back streets.

However, this did result in him walking right into Arthur when Arthur abruptly stopped, staring at something in the distance, face white as a sheet.

"Arthur...?" he asked, hesitantly, before turning to see what Arthur was staring at, and stopping dead at the sight of a bunch of men shackled in a prisoner's caravan about a tenth-mile down the street.

For a moment, they stopped and stared, as did the occasional passerby.

"Arthur...Arthur, come on..." Merlin said, pulling at Arthur's arm. But Arthur wouldn't move.

"We have to help them," Arthur said hoarsely. "Please, we..."

Merlin paused, before eying the apparent cart owner carefully.

"I'll...I'll go find out if they were criminals or debtors-"

"It doesn't matter!" Arthur cried out, whirling around, distressed, to face Merlin. "They're...they...if they are criminals, then they should be punished by due law. But not like this!" He grabbed Merlin's arms desperately. "No one deserves this, no one...please, we have to..."

He gripped Merlin's arms tightly, and Merlin wondered if there would be bruises.

"Arthur...okay, okay...I will...hold on..."

Arthur turned around and focused on the cart as Merlin did so, and he heard Merlin hiss something in the Old Tongue, but nothing happened.

"The lock will unlock soon after it's dark, and all their shackles," Merlin said. "They can find their own way out and away, and at dark, that slaver will be asleep."

Arthur looked at the once-future slaves unhappily, but nodded.

This time, when Merlin dragged him along, he moved but he continued staring at the cage cart. Merlin eventually led Llamrei around to block Arthur's view, and he finally looked away.

Merlin got a bad feeling that he'd just gone down a terribly wrong road.

~*~

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