![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyxelestiaSo, there has been an issue raised about my BDSM fic, This Play Between The Sheets, surrounding safety and consent issues, in one of the reviews. I decided to post a full response here as well as to the commenter to stave off potential trouble. If anyone had any questions about that fic, this is the place to bring it up. (Please note: spoilers for fic will be behind the cut).
Our Feature Presentation!
To start this, the comment in question (in full):
I will be honest, I normally detest publishing reviews and making a spectacle of these things, but I'm making an exception in this case to try and prevent bigger problems from occurring later.
Now first off, there is never any dubcon or noncon in the story. Merlin, the dom, in fact, has a slight issue at one point wherein he feels he has gone too far, while Arthur, the sub, is the one who reassures him of his full and happy consent.
BDSM, in the real world, can be a tricky subject, but it's because of this very issue that BDSM often ends up having the least issues about these subtle lines. The very nature of it forces participants to think and talk about it carefully, dealing with communication issues right up front. Arthur and Merlin talk about their boundaries, and throughout the fic, both of them are respectful towards the rules they have developed. Part of the point of the fic was these two defining and exploring their boundaries!
For instance, the boys have a very clear rule in place about the collar - Merlin never pushes it towards Arthur, and always waits for him to put it on. Merlin obeys this rule at all times, even when he wishes otherwise, and when he wishes that Arthur would put it on. Despite his feelings, he does not even consider encouraging Arthur towards it or pushing the collar on him. Learning to establish and follow rules like these is part of their relationship.
Second, your use of the word 'abuse'. Abuse means causing someone physical and/or emotional harm. And more than that, it's inherently implied to be forced on them, and completely against the victim's will.
I'm sorry, but no - that did not happen. Whatever your opinions of the relationship, everything Merlin did to Arthur, Arthur was happily partaking in. The one time Merlin accidentally ventured into something Arthur didn't like with the breathplay, Merlin immediately backed off as Arthur made his wishes known. He quickly pulled away, and moments later, Arthur was reassuring Merlin that he was fine, and simply taken off guard. Merlin even used this opportunity to offer more rules for their safety.
Finally, the safety issues. Yes, I am well aware of the many things Merlin did that was dangerous. That was the point! Merlin is still learning how to be a dom - it's in the summary, and it pervades the whole damn fic!
I'll do you one better than acknowledging this - I'll point out exactly where Merlin screwed up, and why, and how it should have been done.
In Part 1, Merlin chains Arthur's ankles to the bed, and his collar - as in, chains him by the neck - while Arthur is sleeping...and then he leaves the house completely to go get food. Now, he didn't think much of it, and neither did anyone else, considering that he came back to see Arthur reading his book happily and listening to music while still being bound to the bed, and by a particularly long chain at that. But it wouldn't have taken much - say, Arthur rolling off the bed and hitting his head on the way down - for this to have ended with Arthur seriously hurt, if not actually dead. Merlin should never have left Arthur alone while chained up, especially while Arthur was sleeping.
In Part 2, he kept no EMT scissors or any other sturdy cutting device on hand while doing the rope bondage with Arthur. Even having learned how to quickly get Arthur out of any knot quickly and efficiently, it still could've been dangerous, especially if he'd done one of those knots wrong, and if something had gone wrong, Arthur could've been hurt because it took too long to untie the rope and Merlin didn't have anything immediately present to cut the rope with.
We also learned, in the scene right after, that they have no safeword. Technically, they might not need one as they weren't doing rapeplay and it wasn't a Total Power Exchange relationship - if Arthur refused, Merlin would've backed off. But this meant they had no back-up safety measure thought of at all should someone have misunderstood something. And safeword or not, Merlin went into breath play without having a safegesture on hand in the case he pressed hard enough that Arthur was completely unable to speak.
In finally, in the last scene of the fic, while Merlin is sleeping there with Arthur, Arthur is still handcuffed to the bed, and one bad movement in his sleep could result in a sprained wrist - and if he fell off the bed, a broken one. He either should have stayed awake as Arthur went to sleep, or unlocked Arthur's wrists.
Still think I need to check my research? While I don't believe that I have everything down and absolutely correct, I am not an idiot, either!
This fic, and this series as a whole, is an exploration between Merlin and Arthur about this new kind of relationship. Not everything is going to be perfect, no. But, there was never anything forced or abusive about this fic. While I would normally would have said or done little about the false research jibe, I can't help but feel you should do some of your own if you could so easily mistake this kink for rape and this relationship for abuse.
To start this, the comment in question (in full):
Cool fic but you should really include a dub or non con warning for this before you hurt somebody. And you should check where ever you did your research because there were a lot of things done unsafely, ignoring how abusive Merlin was, anyway.
I will be honest, I normally detest publishing reviews and making a spectacle of these things, but I'm making an exception in this case to try and prevent bigger problems from occurring later.
Now first off, there is never any dubcon or noncon in the story. Merlin, the dom, in fact, has a slight issue at one point wherein he feels he has gone too far, while Arthur, the sub, is the one who reassures him of his full and happy consent.
BDSM, in the real world, can be a tricky subject, but it's because of this very issue that BDSM often ends up having the least issues about these subtle lines. The very nature of it forces participants to think and talk about it carefully, dealing with communication issues right up front. Arthur and Merlin talk about their boundaries, and throughout the fic, both of them are respectful towards the rules they have developed. Part of the point of the fic was these two defining and exploring their boundaries!
For instance, the boys have a very clear rule in place about the collar - Merlin never pushes it towards Arthur, and always waits for him to put it on. Merlin obeys this rule at all times, even when he wishes otherwise, and when he wishes that Arthur would put it on. Despite his feelings, he does not even consider encouraging Arthur towards it or pushing the collar on him. Learning to establish and follow rules like these is part of their relationship.
Second, your use of the word 'abuse'. Abuse means causing someone physical and/or emotional harm. And more than that, it's inherently implied to be forced on them, and completely against the victim's will.
I'm sorry, but no - that did not happen. Whatever your opinions of the relationship, everything Merlin did to Arthur, Arthur was happily partaking in. The one time Merlin accidentally ventured into something Arthur didn't like with the breathplay, Merlin immediately backed off as Arthur made his wishes known. He quickly pulled away, and moments later, Arthur was reassuring Merlin that he was fine, and simply taken off guard. Merlin even used this opportunity to offer more rules for their safety.
Finally, the safety issues. Yes, I am well aware of the many things Merlin did that was dangerous. That was the point! Merlin is still learning how to be a dom - it's in the summary, and it pervades the whole damn fic!
I'll do you one better than acknowledging this - I'll point out exactly where Merlin screwed up, and why, and how it should have been done.
In Part 1, Merlin chains Arthur's ankles to the bed, and his collar - as in, chains him by the neck - while Arthur is sleeping...and then he leaves the house completely to go get food. Now, he didn't think much of it, and neither did anyone else, considering that he came back to see Arthur reading his book happily and listening to music while still being bound to the bed, and by a particularly long chain at that. But it wouldn't have taken much - say, Arthur rolling off the bed and hitting his head on the way down - for this to have ended with Arthur seriously hurt, if not actually dead. Merlin should never have left Arthur alone while chained up, especially while Arthur was sleeping.
In Part 2, he kept no EMT scissors or any other sturdy cutting device on hand while doing the rope bondage with Arthur. Even having learned how to quickly get Arthur out of any knot quickly and efficiently, it still could've been dangerous, especially if he'd done one of those knots wrong, and if something had gone wrong, Arthur could've been hurt because it took too long to untie the rope and Merlin didn't have anything immediately present to cut the rope with.
We also learned, in the scene right after, that they have no safeword. Technically, they might not need one as they weren't doing rapeplay and it wasn't a Total Power Exchange relationship - if Arthur refused, Merlin would've backed off. But this meant they had no back-up safety measure thought of at all should someone have misunderstood something. And safeword or not, Merlin went into breath play without having a safegesture on hand in the case he pressed hard enough that Arthur was completely unable to speak.
In finally, in the last scene of the fic, while Merlin is sleeping there with Arthur, Arthur is still handcuffed to the bed, and one bad movement in his sleep could result in a sprained wrist - and if he fell off the bed, a broken one. He either should have stayed awake as Arthur went to sleep, or unlocked Arthur's wrists.
Still think I need to check my research? While I don't believe that I have everything down and absolutely correct, I am not an idiot, either!
This fic, and this series as a whole, is an exploration between Merlin and Arthur about this new kind of relationship. Not everything is going to be perfect, no. But, there was never anything forced or abusive about this fic. While I would normally would have said or done little about the false research jibe, I can't help but feel you should do some of your own if you could so easily mistake this kink for rape and this relationship for abuse.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-09-05 11:25 am (UTC)But you've done a good job of rebutting them sensibly without coming off as crazy, which is a difficult thing to do when you get forced on the defensive :) Nicely constructed response, m'dear :)
I sympathise a bit, because I just picked up a review on ff.net (anonymous too, the cowardly little whatsit) basically damning my entire fic on the basis of one chapter, so...yeah... *cough* I'm very mature about these things *cough*.
It's a good fic, "This Play Between Sheets" - I actually reread it the other week :) You're right about the issues raised, and you deal with them sensibly.
*hums cheerily*
HK
no subject
Date: 2010-09-08 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-05 11:51 am (UTC)Well responded to.
This is actually one of my favourite Merlin fics full stop, so whatever it is you're drinking, keep doing it and don't let one person piss on your fireworks.
xx
no subject
Date: 2010-09-08 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-07 09:08 pm (UTC)I've taken to using "content" instead of "warnings" in my headers after using it over at kink_bingo. It allows me to mention BDSM, which can be off putting to some (though really not me at all) without stigma, because good things can also go under the label "content." There's no judgment in the word and I like that because the world judges BDSM enough, I don't need to do it to my own fic.
That being said, your fic was wonderful and hot and in no way was there dub-con or non-con. There was consent play, but it was mostly of the discussed, pre-planned, enthusiastic kind of consent play which I love in BDSM fic. One of my favorite parts of that story was that the consent was constantly being discussed by both Merlin and Arthur. (Well, no my favorite part was all the hot kinky sex, but that's beside the point.)
BTW: I love your fic, and I really like this meta on BDSM. Mind if I friend you?
no subject
Date: 2010-09-08 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 12:44 pm (UTC)