How To Fix Your Biggest Fanfic Problems

[nyxelestia]

So, my good friend arithilim recently wrote a post on the most common fails of fanfiction.

I, being the strange person that I am, went one step further - how to fix the ones she didn't give advice for, herself.

Starting every sentence with the same subject

It’s awkward and redundant. Switch it up. Add some variety. Invert. Add a clause. Whatever. Repetition for emphasis is good. Repetition because you only know one format of sentence structure is not.

To take her advice a little further, think about the way you're intending to write - usually a bit like the way you talk, right? Well, think about the way you talk - is it always the same format? Is it always the same structure? You also need to understand that you need different formats for different tones.

During fast paced action sequences, the stiff, simple structures mentioned as useful. During slow, languid scenes, you want to use more slower, elongated sentences. Work your way up and down the scale from there.

The story that just won’t die

Stories need to end. One fic cannot possibly have every important life event in great detail. It gets too long and drags on and on, and I get very bored. Just end it and go write something else. I know it can be tempting to just keep a story going, but really, it ruins it. HP fandom, I'm looking at you.

My simple answer: plot, damnit - plot your story before hand, from beginning to end, with the keyword being end.

The no good dirty rotten horrible day and other melodrama

Look, things can go wrong. Multiple things can go wrong. But everything in the entire world all colliding at once to create a giant swamp of melodrama ruins the angsty effect by making it look silly and exaggerated. Reign it in some and it becomes much more effective. More is not always better however tempting it might seem.

Impact and Temperance, they are your friends. If everything is going bad, it start to get difficult to figure out what's good, what's bad, and what's worse. Everything feels the same, and the angst and melodrama that's important loses its impact. You need to have some average things to be proportionate to the not-so-average, you need some good things to balance out the bad things, and you need some great things to provide contrast with the terrible things.

Otherwise, it all becomes one big, pointless blur of melodrama and angst.

Epithets

Just don’t. On very rare occasions it’s appropriate to have an epithet – perhaps when it’s used to emphasize something, to introduce detail, or to reference an unnamed/unknown character. Every sentence is not appropriate. It just makes your writing sound lame and makes me want to kill things. So please, just say no. If I read one more fic with 'the teen', 'the blond assassin', 'the blue-eyed prince', 'the older boy', or 'the noble Gryffindor', I will scream.

There are these things called pronouns. Use them, for they are your friends. Even if you're using the same pronouns (i.e. multiple men/women in the same scene, ect.), for the most part, you can use them in all the cases necessary - most people can usually figure out who's talking/doing stuff. In those rare cases where it's difficult, use their names.

And for the names thing - seriously, use them. So long as it's not like every other word or something, most people won't notice the names as repetition - their minds and eyes will gloss over it beyond simply recognizing who it is.

Only use epithets for emphasis, nothing more.

Comments

[cordeliasmarz.livejournal.com]

Hmm
I'm sure most of that doesn't apply to me however I did find it all very enlightening (seems like the wrong kind of word but it did sort of open my eyes a bit more and it was - dare I say - "interesting"?)

I really don't "get" how to define "depression". It's a weird one.

My situation is (not that you asked but I'll try to be quick!) I've been ill since I was 7 (I'm 18 now) with stomach aches, sickness, fatigue, headaches - quite a few things. Since then I've been to countless doctors, nutritionists, psychiatrists etc. etc. and no-one could tell me what was wrong with me. Until I was about 15 when I got told I had Candida which is like.. basically just a label. With some pointers of how to get better. Things I should and shouldn't eat etc. Pretty early on we (my mum and I - luckily I had her to guide me on my quest) found out I was intolerant to wheat, eggs and dairy so I haven't had too much of them since I was 7 or 8.

Anyway, by the time I found out about this Candida, I was suffering mentally too - it wasn't just physical pain keeping me from going to school anymore. All the years of worrying, not knowing what was wrong with me, fearing I had some kind of horrible illness no-one knew about - and also the restrictions of my diet, being told I couldn't do things, couldn't eat things like normal people - it took its toll. Anyway, I stayed off school loads and blah blah blah DEPRESSION. Only way I can describe it, really. All the things on your "symptoms" list. But I still feel like I can't call it "depression". What IS depression??!

UGH.

I'm taking some kind of anti-depressants at the moment and they've been calming my stomach (I get panicky and tense a lot when I have to go out, to school etc.) and I think they've actually made me have a really small appetite so at least that's a plus. I don't know though.. how're they meant to make me feel?

I did feel a lot worse over the years but I've kind of got a lot better on my own after seeing a counsellor who actually knew what she was talking about (only reason I can actually understand all what I wrote above is because of her - I thought I was staying off school just because I was ill physically, I tried to forget all the times I thought I was going mad because I was crying all day - I thought I was crying from physical pain, not mental) and also just generally growing up and realising I was kind of an OK person. I don't know how or when that happened but I started liking myself more.

Anyway, sorry for rambling again - using you for therapy = over :D and thank you again for all of the (my favourite word again) interesting things you've said ^_^

Interesting is so not a complimentary-sounding word. I need a new one.

Oh and thanks for the pointer on the Archive/Site map thing - I'll continue my browsing :)

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

It's okay on the rambling, a lot of people use me for therapy. :) (Actually, I once looked into majoring in psychiatry for it, and am still considering general psychology). Also, you'd be surprised about what in psychology applies to us and what doesn't. Most people fall on a spectrum of dysfunctionality, and most people slip and slide across this scale regularly in their lives as their situations change. Your mood and your way of thinking isn't set one moment to the next, let along through your whole life, so your psychology is just as fluid.

As for your situation - well, like I said, you aren't depressed because of a serotonin issue, you were depressed because your life sucked.

Depression is basically feeling sad, and no longer caring about life. Sometimes, this is your brain acting up. Most of the time, and in your case, there is a reason behind why you feel that way. That you have a counselor to help is one of the best treatments for depression in your case, as talking through it helps quite a bit, especially as your issues are genuine, and not just brain chemistry gone screwy.

Anti-depressants are basically SSRI compounds which adjust your serotonin levels - hormones that control mood. Not having enough serotonin is basically depression.

The reason why I normally advise against anti-depressants is because I've generally noticed that for the most part, they aren't needed and won't help. The reason why so many people complain about anti-depressants not working is because their problem isn't something that can be cured by them. People are desperate to think their lives are all happy and perfect and live up to their dreams, so they blame their sadness on chemicals. But what most people don't realize is that really? Their lives just suck, and something in it is screwing with them.

In your case, anti-depressants are working for you, but in a different way. The serotonin isn't really doing anything to cheer you up, but it is calming you down, and letting you live your life, which is cheering you up. So for you, I'd say stick to the SSRI's, as they are helping you, if a bit more indirectly than intended.

[cordeliasmarz.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for all your help/advice and letting me discuss this with you ^_^

I don't really have much more to say but what you wrote was really helpful, thank you :)