Beside Me, Chapter 0.3 - The Fall
Feb. 19th, 2011 03:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyxelestiaStory Title: Beside Me
Chapter: 0.3 - The Fall
Rating: R
Summary: X-Men AU: For many downtrodden mutants, rejected throughout a lifetime of unwelcome blood dictating their lives, Camelot Academy is not just a school - it's a home. But something dark is brewing, and Camelot is no longer as safe as it appears.
Word Count: 4400
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen, Lancelot, Morgana, Gwaine
Story Warnings/Content: violence (including scientific experimentation), sex (including references to forced intoxication and non-con), character deaths, self-harm, mentions of prostitution, torture
Chapter Warnings/Content: mentions of accidental violence, severe injury (including spinal), anti-mutant hatred/bigotry (and some language related therein)
Beta: none for this chapter, as I have all the patience of a hyperactive toddler on crack
Notes: You know one of those days where no one thing is bad but everything goes wrong, anyway? Yeah, I just had one of those. Some I'm posting some fic early to cheer myself up.
Chapter 0: Prologue
Part 3: The Fall
Master Post
<< Previous Chapter
~*~
0.3 – The Fall
Chapter 0: Prologue
Part 3: The Fall
~*~
Merlin sat curled on a seat in the waiting room, his knees pulled to his chest, his eyes locked on the door. He was nauseous, and his head hurt and he was really, really, really hungover, but he couldn’t leave Will here alone, not after what Merlin did to him.
The doctor came to him around dawn. He kept a careful distance from Merlin, like everyone else.
Merlin didn’t blame him.
He got up silently and followed the doctor, hugging himself tighter and tighter for every disdainful look he got from the staff.
Let into a ward of patients, then to a curtained corner, Merlin gasped when the curtain barrier was pulled back.
“Will?” he cried out, running to his best friend’s side. “Will?”
“He…” the doctor coughed politely. “He...hit the wall...at a very high velocity.”
Merlin heard the, you threw him into the wall, in the doctor’s voice.
“Low-grade concussion, which will leave him slightly confused, but he will recover. Broken ribs, dislocated arm, fractured femur, severe bruising, minor lacerations – the fairly superficial wounds…”
“…the not so superficial?
“There…there were a few factures in the spine.”
Merlin’s eyes widened. “Did I…did I paralyze him?”
The doctor sighed. “The angle at which he hit the wall let his extremities take most of the force of the blow. But his lower spine took a few fractures. They would only affect him from the legs down, at most. The fracture’s existence will mean that he will need a wheelchair for a while when he wakes up, but we won’t be able to tell if there is actual damage to the spinal cord until he wakes up. If there is…”
“…then I’ve paralyzed my best friend,” Merlin said in horror.
The doctor hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. I’m sure you’re very sorry.” He seemed to mean at least that much. “However, if there isn’t, or the damage is minor enough, then he can learn to walk again.”
“Learn to walk?!” Merlin asked hoarsely.
The doctor have Merlin a look he was fairly certain was meant to be reassuring, but the effect was negated by the apprehension in his eyes.
When it was just him and Will again, he collapsed into the chair and stared at Will’s bruised face and stilled hands, and sobbed, just once.
“I’m sorry, Will,” Merlin gasped out. “I’m sorry, so sorry, I swear, I mean it, I’m sorry, so sorry-”
~*~
Mum showed up a few hours later, when her shift at work had ended.
Will’s father had died when Will was sixteen, so she had the legal power to fill out forms for Will, despite the fact Will lived on his own, now. Technically, anyway - he usually spend most of his time over at Merlin's place.
He probably wouldn't after this.
She signed some papers and filled out some forms, before she found another chair and sat on the opposite side of the bed from Merlin.
She had yet to look him in the eye.
“You’re shaking,” she said after a while.
“…hangover…” Merlin murmured.
Mum sighed. “Oh, Merlin.”
~*~
Will finally woke up around sunset. Merlin had been holding his hand at the time, and had felt his friend’s confusion, awareness, his realization, and when Will saw Merlin…he felt Will’s fear.
Merlin hurriedly let go at that, and even got up to back away by a few steps.
“Merlin,” Will said firmly, and Merlin stopped.
Mum came back at that moment.
Merlin stayed, rooted to his spot, as she helped Will prop himself up on the bed, murmuring to him quietly, probably about his condition.
It was confirmed when Will suddenly cried out in shock and reached out to touch and feel for his legs, his face already scrunched up in mourning.
Merlin’s heart tore at the sight.
In a moment of complete and total guilt induced hysteria, all he could think was that the school’s rugby team was going to hate him for hurting their star player.
He was shaking when Will looked up. Merlin didn’t need to touch him to know the grief Will was feeling.
“I’m sorry,” Merlin said, and fled.
~*~
The long run home had him stumbling into his house with his muscles screaming, though he really just felt numb.
Shower. Change. And he knew he should eat, but he couldn’t really stomach anything, right then, so he had one Mum’s protein shakes as a compromise before sitting in the living room and weighing his options on whether or not to check the news.
Masochism won out.
For the first ten or fifteen minutes or so, it was just the usual things. School renovations, corrupt politician, celebrity stalking, robbery, the usual…
Then, it came.
“…a local mutant, whose identity has not been disclosed, lost control of his power last night while intoxicated, and his power is estimated to involve telekinesis, as he threw someone into a wall. A local rugby star and close friend to the mutant, his injuries are severe, but not deadly, and it is reported that he has already woken. We have not been able to reach him at this time…”
They never revealed Merlin’s identity and only mentioned Will’s once in passing.
Yet when he logged onto Facebook, his wall was covered in hateful messages, with only a few expressions of disappointment, from non-anti-mutant people, for hurting Will.
His head snapped up from the laptop when Mum came through. She saw him looking dejectedly at his computer screen and the news channel open on the telly. Switching off both devices for him, she said, “Ignore them.”
~*~
He couldn’t.
~*~
When Mum finally convinced him to see Will the next day, he managed to get himself to the ward and even had the guts to move towards Will’s corner on the far end of the ward…
…only to be greeted with the sight of two police officers talking to Will.
He breathed in sharply in fear, and Will, stupid, stupid Will, smiled at him – a forced smile, Merlin could tell – and said, “Hey, Merlin!”
The name triggered faces of aggression in the officers, and one even stood up and grabbed Merlin’s arm in a painful grip.
“Hey!” Will cried out indignantly, as Merlin yelped and unconsciously tried to move back, causing her grip to tighten even more. It was going to bruise, he knew it.
“Is this the mutant who hurt you?” The other officer asked.
Mutant. Not even ‘guy’ or ‘person’. Just mutant.
“I told you, already, it was an accident!” Will said. “I’m not pressing charges against him for his complete and utter inability to hold his liquor.”
Any other time, Merlin would’ve been indignant. Right now, he could only feel fear, a lifetime of news pieces about mutants disappearing in the night flashing through his mind’s eye.
He didn’t want to disappear in the night.
“Are you absolutely sure it was an accident?” The officer gripping his arm asked, shaking Merlin a little. Merlin gasped in pain. Weren’t there supposed to be laws against this sort of thing? He wasn’t resisting-
“Let. Him. Go,” Will demanded.
The officer obliged, before turning to Merlin. “You better get yourself registered soon, mutant.”
“He’s only required to do so if he commits a crime, which he hasn’t,” Will said.
“It’ll be easier for all for him to be voluntarily registered once he does commit a crime,” the officer said.
“If he commits a crime,” Will said coldly.
The officers just rolled their eyes at Will and left.
Merlin breathed a sigh of relief when they were gone, falling into the chair, legs too wobbly from the experience.
“Thanks, Will,” Merlin said, reaching over to grasp Will’s hand in his own. “That was-”
-his hand touched Will’s.
He hadn’t been pushing down with his power, and felt Will’s frustration, grief, anger, and fear.
Merlin pulled his hand back sharply with a pained gasp, staring at Will in shock.
Will laughed nervously. “No…problem…”
“Why?” Merlin asked, looking at Will and wonder why he would save him, considering all the negative feelings towards Merlin he held.
“…you’re still my best friend,” Will said. “Of course I’d still fight for you.”
“Even though you’re afraid of me?”
Silence.
“Even though I’m afraid of you.”
Merlin looked down at his hands.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Will remained silent – even as Merlin got up and left.
~*~
Now that everyone around there knew he was a mutant, anyway, Merlin did register himself. Fill out the little form, mail it in, and…and…now his name was on a national database that anyone could access on a whim, that along with other identification and the fact that he was a mutant.
Mum had just sighed when he’d told her.
Will had stared in shock.
“Why the fuck would you just blacklist yourself like that?!” Will had shouted in his living room when Merlin had gone over and told him.
“What if I lose control again?” Merlin challenged. “What if this happens again, or worse? Everyone already knows, anyway!”
“Only people here – you just blacklisted yourself everywhere! Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“For the same reason you still won’t let me touch you,” Merlin said curtly.
“I’m not afraid of you!”
But when Merlin reached over the table for Will, he pulled his hand away, hiding his emotions – hiding his fear.
Will sighed. “Get some Sprite over here – we have a lot of clearing up to do on Facebook.”
His best friend made no sense, sometimes. But he was a damn loyal bastard and for that Merlin was eternally grateful. (Why? Why was Will still on his side? Merlin wasn't on his side, why was Will? Merlin was a mutant - Will had every right to hate him. So why didn't he?)
As Merlin levitated some cans over from the kitchen, Will opened his laptop and logged onto his Facebook.
He frowned when Merlin didn’t log onto his.
“I’ve already read it all,” Merlin said dejectedly. “Your wall, mine, anything tagged with our names.”
Will’s face hardened as he read through all the posts offering support in the obvious betrayal of his best friend against him, offering links to various anti-mutant groups, and even offerings to help Will cover his tracks should he want to take more direct action against Merlin.
One bloke even said outright that he had the list of the best places locally for Will to assault Merlin without getting caught and being able to get away with it.
“Pick the one in the central village,” Merlin said morosely, still remembering the emotional storm he felt when he touched Will, as Will read through the list. “We can go for ice cream after.”
“This isn’t funny-”
“I know that!”
There was silence, before Will said, “Why would I go anywhere else? I know where you live, and your mum buys good ice cream, anyways.”
Merlin laughed humorlessly, and Will added, “I’mna check your Wall.”
Some more silence as Will read, and then he said, “Have you been checking your Wall, reading all this?”
“Yeah.”
“Stop, then,” Will said, eyes hardening as he read through the posts directed at Merlin, age-old over-protective spirit temporarily winning out against his fear of Merlin, apparently. Mum had done a damn good job of making sure Will knew Merlin was his responsibility when she wasn't there to look out for him, and most of the time that was annoying, but right now…
Merlin frowned. “How can you be afraid of me and protect me at the same time?”
Will sighed, unsure. “I...you know me, Merlin. How many times am I going to have to pound this through your thick skull? You’re still my best friend, no matter what you did to me. You’re like my brother. I hate you, but I love you. It's like monarchy and democracy.”
“…that made no sense at all.”
“Just because I’m advanced in political sciences doesn’t mean I’m actually speaking a different language, and it won't be so no matter how many times you say that,” Will scoffed and said preemptively. “You artists and your weird brains.”
Merlin looked down at his hands and Will said, “Seriously, Merlin, stop reading these, okay? I’ll deal with them.”
Merlin frowned but nodded. He was used to letting Will fight for him. Merlin liked to bring peace, and Will liked to argue, and they usually balanced each other out.
Usually.
Will started clicking and typing furiously, his look getting more and more smug every few clicks.
“…what are you doing?” Merlin asked as he opened one of his art programs. Art goofing was good. Making a few wallpapers or some texture packs always relaxed him. And it’s been, oddly, a while, and his last one did get almost a thousand downloads…let Will deal with this. He was the git that liked to argue politics at every turn, politics and everything else...
“Responding to the little fuckers,” Will said. “And hah! Marion’s online, and she already responded back to me…that cunt!”
“Will!”
“You read what she wrote!”
Merlin relented, his classmate’s words running through his head over and over again, calling him a liar and a genefuck and saying he should disappear in the middle of the night like all the other mutants everyone has heard about on the news since childhood.
Merlin remembered her coming to his tenth birthday party and bringing a box of biscuits she’d made herself, complete with the recipe so he could make some more on his own – or rather, with his mother – later if he so wished.
Last night, it had been that comment in particular which caused Merlin to break down and sob his guts up as he realized just the levels of hate now being directed at him from childhood friends.
Mum had found him trembling in his bed like that when she got him, and he had cried into her shoulder.
Dead embarrassing, actually, but she had soothed him, then told him to finish his summer homework he’d procrastinated and gone to make dinner. The fact that homework was now a comfort made Merlin wonder if it was some kind of statement about his life, now.
“She’s a bitch,” Will scoffed as he typed. “Unfriend her. Unfriend all these stupid motherf-”
“Will!” Merlin knew he should be used to Will’s foul mouth by now, but really, this was just a bit much. Merlin didn't warrant that. Did he?
“She just told me I should kick you out of my house before…”
“…before what, Will?”
“Before you bring it down on our heads,” Will muttered.
“…you agree with her,” Merlin said. His tactile empathy had given him the skill to discern people’s emotions even without touching them, but he wasn't sure he would have needed that to see the answer on Will's face.
“That you can bring it down? Yes,” Will said, keeping his eyes locked on his screen. “That you will bring it down? No. I already told her just what she can do with her stupid opinions.”
And after a bit, he said, “Check your Wall, now, and mine.”
Hesitatingly, Merlin logged on and checked. The posts were still heart-wrenching. But Will had responded to all of them in his usual cheeky and angry way, calling them all hypocrites for remaining friends with drunk drivers and yet not Merlin, and going on rants about the damage he suffered compared to the victims of the aforementioned drivers’ victims and generally using his logical rage that made his blog such a popular hit.
On his own Wall, Will posted that Merlin was his best friend and anyone who hurt him would have to answer to Will-
“Don’t read the comment,” Will said suddenly.
Merlin reloaded the page and read the comment, anyway.
It was a link to a webtest to see if you were being mind-controlled by a mutant.
“…I told you not to read it,” Will said.
Merlin just stared at his screen, remembering his friend, with the freshly baked treats just for him, telling him how much she hated him.
~*~
On the first day of school, Will never left Merlin’s side if he could help it, glaring at everyone from his wheel chair.
A few people were still nice to them both. Some admonished Merlin just for losing control, rather than being a mutant, and wishing Will to get better, and Merlin held on to their faces, their relatively kind words.
Because most people were the exact opposite of that.
The taunts, the dirty looks, rained down on him alongside school supplies thrown at him, all day long.
Halfway through the day, someone threw a book at him in the hallway, laughing. It was a hardcover, and Merlin stopped it in midair, before letting it drop right in front of him.
Between that and the next class, Will was forced to leave him, as he wasn’t in Merlin’s art class.
At the end of the say, Mum had to come pick him up from school, after he was too covered in bruises and scratches and a slightly twisted ankle and a sprained wrist to be able to make the long walk home.
By the end of the week, he was pulled out of school entirely.
That night, Will came with pizza and some soda, making Merlin float him from the wheelchair to the sofa and spread out the pizza and soda over the table as they studied together – or pretended to study, anyway – and Merlin had just a few cups and slices, and he lay on the couch and said, “You’re still afraid of me.”
“…yeah.”
“Mum won’t let me touch her skin-to-skin, either, anymore,” Merlin said quietly. She tried to hide it, yapping about cold weather as she started wearing more gloves and long sleeve shirts, but Merlin saw how careful she was being when she touched him, and remembered his childhood of hard times when she tried to hide her emotions from him, and he knew what was really happening.
“Merlin…you…we…”
He just continued to stare at the ceiling.
“I went to see the orthopedist, today,” Will said.
Merlin’s blood stilled. “Oh?” he croaked out.
“…I’ll be in this thing-” he gestured towards the wheelchair. “For a while. I’ll…I’ll eventually learn to walk, but…” He sighed. “Professional rugby is pretty much out of the picture.”
Merlin shut his eyes, feeling tears well up. “I’m sorry.”
Silence.
“Well…we both knew it would end with me in politics, anyway…just a little faster than I expected…”
His voice was shaky. It was clear what he thought.
“I took away your future,” Merlin said. Will didn’t deny it. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” Will didn’t try to stop him, either.
There was another tense silence, before Will said, “I…I always loved rugby. Always.”
And Merlin knew this – he’d been there when Will first found his love of rugby, watched as it grew on him, as he rose up the ranks as a star, as he looked seriously towards professional levels and…and…
“I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely.
Will didn’t respond.
After Will left, Merlin curled up on his side in the bed and murmured into the ether, “Whatever I did to make you hate me so much, I’m sorry,” murmuring to whoever made him a mutant, made him like this. I’m sorry. Are you happy, now?
~*~
The online classes and independent study were all right, but lonely.
And he no longer could go onto online forums to find someone to talk to, not after the Forum Raids from several years before. How could he forget the waves of disappearing mutants, their information gathered from some seemingly well-intentioned forums and online groups? How could anyone forget?
No one wanted to disappear in the middle of the night.
…it was lonely.
After two weeks, Merlin came home from trying to relax in the isolated parks to see his mum crying on the couch, an ended video on the television screen.
“Mum?” he asked tentatively, approaching her on the couch softly.
She sniffed and said, “This…this is the video that was used during…during the trial for…for the attack.”
Without further explanation and going only on her tone and reaction, Merlin knew which attack she was talking about.
“The lawyers tried to argue that your father’s murder was justified,” she said. “They tried to use this video as proof. It nearly worked, too. And your father had told me to switch on the camera so we could just…charge them for harassment, when they came. We didn’t…”
Merlin slowly couched before the television and rewound the video, before hitting ‘PLAY’.
It was a scene of a lawn, and immediately, he saw his father, Balinor Emrys, standing on a lawn, surrounded by half a dozen people, locked in confrontation. With a squint, he recognized their shirts – one of the older logos for the ever feared Dark Knights.
Merlin watched as one of them pulled something out of a bag, and threw it in the camera’s general direction. He heard shattering glass from just beyond the camera’s sight, and his breath hitched as he heard his mother’s screamed.
“HEY!” his father shouted. “Stay away from my family!”
“It ain’t your family we’re interested in,” a girl said. “It’s you, the man that hurt my brothers, last week.”
“They shouldn’t have been hurting that poor man-”
“He isn’t a man,” another boy shouted. “He’s a mutant.”
He watched as their shouted descended to physical fighting, the people being pushed back, but not hurt, by Balinor.
He watched as his mum suddenly appeared, grabbing a shovel and trying to use it to pry a man off his father, and felt his blood boil when the man turned and twisted the shovel out of her hands and swung it and hit her head with it. He could hear the thwack of the impact, and the dull thud as she landed in a shifting heap on the ground.
“HUNITH!” his father shouted, and Merlin watched as the attackers were all thrown well away, like Will, so much like Will, exactly like Will, and then his father was on the ground, clutching at his mother and muttering something, as behind him, the girl pushed herself and pulled out a gun from her waistband.
At the last second, Balinor turned at Mum’s cry and her pointing.
The girl raised the gun, and Balinor twisted to shield Mum.
“Fucking mutant,” the girl spat. “Not even human.”
And Balinor jumped to push her away from Mum.
Bang.
Merlin watched in horror as his father’s body fell to the ground. The girl and one other man, the only other conscious one, ran away to a car and drove away, and Merlin watched as his mother clutched at his father’s body, wailing and sobbing.
“Those three,” she said from behind him, her hand appearing in the edge of his vision to point out three of the attackers’ bodies on screen. “They’re dead. Killed on impact.”
He gasped at the knowledge that his father had killed people.
Killed them with the very same power that ran now in Merlin’s veins.
He watched as the lawn was flooded with emergency services, ambulances taking people away, police officers talking to Mum and neighbors and observing the scene.
Talking to one of the officers, Mum disappeared, and then the camera was being picked up, and then the screen went black.
Merlin reached for her hand, and she didn’t pull away.
He felt fear.
Even if his mother wasn’t scared of him – if – she was terrified of the possibilities.
~*~
It came to a head when a week after that, Mum lost her job.
“I was just laid off, sweetie,” she said, tears in her eyes anyway. “Money and shaky economy and all – they had to let go of me.”
She was the only one let go. She was in management, and Merlin knew she was one of the core people who would’ve only been let go in the most extraordinary of circumstances.
“It’s for the best, anyway, the environment hasn’t been the best,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Just…they’ve heard about you. But I can ignore it.”
“Mum,” he said, horror and guilt thriving in his blood. “What was going on?”
She sighed. “The usual nasty words about you. When I defended you…well, you don’t need to know.”
“Yes, Mum, I do!”
“Merlin,” she said sternly.
Merlin grasped her hands in his own – these days, he wore the gloves, now, for her reassurance, mostly. “Mum – please…what was going on?”
She shut her eyes and told him, told him about the taunting she too endured for still loving her son after what he’d done, for keeping him, for defending him…the abuses she endured.
Merlin choked, sobbing, as she told him what they called her for being the mother of a mutant.
He hugged her close.
And in his mind, he was already making his plans.
~*~
He was packing by the next day.
Packed, unpacked, packed again, unpacked again. At one point, he had an entire suitcase packed, unloaded it, then just a large overnight back and his backpack, unloaded those…
Then he ended with just his school bag.
Taking a deep breath, Merlin packed just two changes of clothes, his wallet, a sketchbook and a small pencil box, and one of those airport-sized toiletry kits. And that was it, all he could fit into the bag. He’d considered his laptop, then decided against it. It was old and bulky and heavy and would only weigh him down. He was also leaving behind his mobile – he cancelled the contract, so his mum would have a little more money for herself, and so the police couldn’t trace him if they decided to come after him.
The bag was light when he shouldered it. His whole life, packed into a single schoolbag.
It was still early autumn, but he dressed warmly, anyways.
He had eaten well at dinner a few hours before, getting as much as he could of Mum’s cooking, so for now, he just took several snacks for the night and the next day.
He left a note for his mum. He'd penned multiple letters and thrown them away, again and again. In the end, he gave up, just printing out a copy of her favorite stationary he'd made for her, and wrote simply, Don't worry about me. He knew how utterly insufficient it was, but it was all he could do, for now. He left it next to his phone on the desk.
As he walked down the street, he realized what it meant, to run away completely from...everything. After compressing everything of his life into a bag, and transferring money from his own bank account online to his mum’s to cover the bills she would have trouble with as she jobsearched, he had almost no money left to his name. Maybe enough for a few cheap meals, if that.
But he’d make it. He had to – he had no other choice.
There was nothing left for him to do but run.
~*~
Next Chapter >>
Master Post
Like I said, I had a shit day, so please leave some comments as they make me happy. ♥
This is the end of the Prologue, so I may take a week's break for coding and writing, depending on my life and scheduling (neither of which are really up to me at this point), and post again in March with the first chapter of Part 1.
Chapter: 0.3 - The Fall
Rating: R
Summary: X-Men AU: For many downtrodden mutants, rejected throughout a lifetime of unwelcome blood dictating their lives, Camelot Academy is not just a school - it's a home. But something dark is brewing, and Camelot is no longer as safe as it appears.
Word Count: 4400
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen, Lancelot, Morgana, Gwaine
Story Warnings/Content: violence (including scientific experimentation), sex (including references to forced intoxication and non-con), character deaths, self-harm, mentions of prostitution, torture
Chapter Warnings/Content: mentions of accidental violence, severe injury (including spinal), anti-mutant hatred/bigotry (and some language related therein)
Beta: none for this chapter, as I have all the patience of a hyperactive toddler on crack
Notes: You know one of those days where no one thing is bad but everything goes wrong, anyway? Yeah, I just had one of those. Some I'm posting some fic early to cheer myself up.
Chapter 0: Prologue
Part 3: The Fall
<< Previous Chapter
~*~
0.3 – The Fall
Chapter 0: Prologue
Part 3: The Fall
Merlin sat curled on a seat in the waiting room, his knees pulled to his chest, his eyes locked on the door. He was nauseous, and his head hurt and he was really, really, really hungover, but he couldn’t leave Will here alone, not after what Merlin did to him.
The doctor came to him around dawn. He kept a careful distance from Merlin, like everyone else.
Merlin didn’t blame him.
He got up silently and followed the doctor, hugging himself tighter and tighter for every disdainful look he got from the staff.
Let into a ward of patients, then to a curtained corner, Merlin gasped when the curtain barrier was pulled back.
“Will?” he cried out, running to his best friend’s side. “Will?”
“He…” the doctor coughed politely. “He...hit the wall...at a very high velocity.”
Merlin heard the, you threw him into the wall, in the doctor’s voice.
“Low-grade concussion, which will leave him slightly confused, but he will recover. Broken ribs, dislocated arm, fractured femur, severe bruising, minor lacerations – the fairly superficial wounds…”
“…the not so superficial?
“There…there were a few factures in the spine.”
Merlin’s eyes widened. “Did I…did I paralyze him?”
The doctor sighed. “The angle at which he hit the wall let his extremities take most of the force of the blow. But his lower spine took a few fractures. They would only affect him from the legs down, at most. The fracture’s existence will mean that he will need a wheelchair for a while when he wakes up, but we won’t be able to tell if there is actual damage to the spinal cord until he wakes up. If there is…”
“…then I’ve paralyzed my best friend,” Merlin said in horror.
The doctor hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. I’m sure you’re very sorry.” He seemed to mean at least that much. “However, if there isn’t, or the damage is minor enough, then he can learn to walk again.”
“Learn to walk?!” Merlin asked hoarsely.
The doctor have Merlin a look he was fairly certain was meant to be reassuring, but the effect was negated by the apprehension in his eyes.
When it was just him and Will again, he collapsed into the chair and stared at Will’s bruised face and stilled hands, and sobbed, just once.
“I’m sorry, Will,” Merlin gasped out. “I’m sorry, so sorry, I swear, I mean it, I’m sorry, so sorry-”
Mum showed up a few hours later, when her shift at work had ended.
Will’s father had died when Will was sixteen, so she had the legal power to fill out forms for Will, despite the fact Will lived on his own, now. Technically, anyway - he usually spend most of his time over at Merlin's place.
He probably wouldn't after this.
She signed some papers and filled out some forms, before she found another chair and sat on the opposite side of the bed from Merlin.
She had yet to look him in the eye.
“You’re shaking,” she said after a while.
“…hangover…” Merlin murmured.
Mum sighed. “Oh, Merlin.”
Will finally woke up around sunset. Merlin had been holding his hand at the time, and had felt his friend’s confusion, awareness, his realization, and when Will saw Merlin…he felt Will’s fear.
Merlin hurriedly let go at that, and even got up to back away by a few steps.
“Merlin,” Will said firmly, and Merlin stopped.
Mum came back at that moment.
Merlin stayed, rooted to his spot, as she helped Will prop himself up on the bed, murmuring to him quietly, probably about his condition.
It was confirmed when Will suddenly cried out in shock and reached out to touch and feel for his legs, his face already scrunched up in mourning.
Merlin’s heart tore at the sight.
In a moment of complete and total guilt induced hysteria, all he could think was that the school’s rugby team was going to hate him for hurting their star player.
He was shaking when Will looked up. Merlin didn’t need to touch him to know the grief Will was feeling.
“I’m sorry,” Merlin said, and fled.
The long run home had him stumbling into his house with his muscles screaming, though he really just felt numb.
Shower. Change. And he knew he should eat, but he couldn’t really stomach anything, right then, so he had one Mum’s protein shakes as a compromise before sitting in the living room and weighing his options on whether or not to check the news.
Masochism won out.
For the first ten or fifteen minutes or so, it was just the usual things. School renovations, corrupt politician, celebrity stalking, robbery, the usual…
Then, it came.
“…a local mutant, whose identity has not been disclosed, lost control of his power last night while intoxicated, and his power is estimated to involve telekinesis, as he threw someone into a wall. A local rugby star and close friend to the mutant, his injuries are severe, but not deadly, and it is reported that he has already woken. We have not been able to reach him at this time…”
They never revealed Merlin’s identity and only mentioned Will’s once in passing.
Yet when he logged onto Facebook, his wall was covered in hateful messages, with only a few expressions of disappointment, from non-anti-mutant people, for hurting Will.
His head snapped up from the laptop when Mum came through. She saw him looking dejectedly at his computer screen and the news channel open on the telly. Switching off both devices for him, she said, “Ignore them.”
He couldn’t.
When Mum finally convinced him to see Will the next day, he managed to get himself to the ward and even had the guts to move towards Will’s corner on the far end of the ward…
…only to be greeted with the sight of two police officers talking to Will.
He breathed in sharply in fear, and Will, stupid, stupid Will, smiled at him – a forced smile, Merlin could tell – and said, “Hey, Merlin!”
The name triggered faces of aggression in the officers, and one even stood up and grabbed Merlin’s arm in a painful grip.
“Hey!” Will cried out indignantly, as Merlin yelped and unconsciously tried to move back, causing her grip to tighten even more. It was going to bruise, he knew it.
“Is this the mutant who hurt you?” The other officer asked.
Mutant. Not even ‘guy’ or ‘person’. Just mutant.
“I told you, already, it was an accident!” Will said. “I’m not pressing charges against him for his complete and utter inability to hold his liquor.”
Any other time, Merlin would’ve been indignant. Right now, he could only feel fear, a lifetime of news pieces about mutants disappearing in the night flashing through his mind’s eye.
He didn’t want to disappear in the night.
“Are you absolutely sure it was an accident?” The officer gripping his arm asked, shaking Merlin a little. Merlin gasped in pain. Weren’t there supposed to be laws against this sort of thing? He wasn’t resisting-
“Let. Him. Go,” Will demanded.
The officer obliged, before turning to Merlin. “You better get yourself registered soon, mutant.”
“He’s only required to do so if he commits a crime, which he hasn’t,” Will said.
“It’ll be easier for all for him to be voluntarily registered once he does commit a crime,” the officer said.
“If he commits a crime,” Will said coldly.
The officers just rolled their eyes at Will and left.
Merlin breathed a sigh of relief when they were gone, falling into the chair, legs too wobbly from the experience.
“Thanks, Will,” Merlin said, reaching over to grasp Will’s hand in his own. “That was-”
-his hand touched Will’s.
He hadn’t been pushing down with his power, and felt Will’s frustration, grief, anger, and fear.
Merlin pulled his hand back sharply with a pained gasp, staring at Will in shock.
Will laughed nervously. “No…problem…”
“Why?” Merlin asked, looking at Will and wonder why he would save him, considering all the negative feelings towards Merlin he held.
“…you’re still my best friend,” Will said. “Of course I’d still fight for you.”
“Even though you’re afraid of me?”
Silence.
“Even though I’m afraid of you.”
Merlin looked down at his hands.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Will remained silent – even as Merlin got up and left.
Now that everyone around there knew he was a mutant, anyway, Merlin did register himself. Fill out the little form, mail it in, and…and…now his name was on a national database that anyone could access on a whim, that along with other identification and the fact that he was a mutant.
Mum had just sighed when he’d told her.
Will had stared in shock.
“Why the fuck would you just blacklist yourself like that?!” Will had shouted in his living room when Merlin had gone over and told him.
“What if I lose control again?” Merlin challenged. “What if this happens again, or worse? Everyone already knows, anyway!”
“Only people here – you just blacklisted yourself everywhere! Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“For the same reason you still won’t let me touch you,” Merlin said curtly.
“I’m not afraid of you!”
But when Merlin reached over the table for Will, he pulled his hand away, hiding his emotions – hiding his fear.
Will sighed. “Get some Sprite over here – we have a lot of clearing up to do on Facebook.”
His best friend made no sense, sometimes. But he was a damn loyal bastard and for that Merlin was eternally grateful. (Why? Why was Will still on his side? Merlin wasn't on his side, why was Will? Merlin was a mutant - Will had every right to hate him. So why didn't he?)
As Merlin levitated some cans over from the kitchen, Will opened his laptop and logged onto his Facebook.
He frowned when Merlin didn’t log onto his.
“I’ve already read it all,” Merlin said dejectedly. “Your wall, mine, anything tagged with our names.”
Will’s face hardened as he read through all the posts offering support in the obvious betrayal of his best friend against him, offering links to various anti-mutant groups, and even offerings to help Will cover his tracks should he want to take more direct action against Merlin.
One bloke even said outright that he had the list of the best places locally for Will to assault Merlin without getting caught and being able to get away with it.
“Pick the one in the central village,” Merlin said morosely, still remembering the emotional storm he felt when he touched Will, as Will read through the list. “We can go for ice cream after.”
“This isn’t funny-”
“I know that!”
There was silence, before Will said, “Why would I go anywhere else? I know where you live, and your mum buys good ice cream, anyways.”
Merlin laughed humorlessly, and Will added, “I’mna check your Wall.”
Some more silence as Will read, and then he said, “Have you been checking your Wall, reading all this?”
“Yeah.”
“Stop, then,” Will said, eyes hardening as he read through the posts directed at Merlin, age-old over-protective spirit temporarily winning out against his fear of Merlin, apparently. Mum had done a damn good job of making sure Will knew Merlin was his responsibility when she wasn't there to look out for him, and most of the time that was annoying, but right now…
Merlin frowned. “How can you be afraid of me and protect me at the same time?”
Will sighed, unsure. “I...you know me, Merlin. How many times am I going to have to pound this through your thick skull? You’re still my best friend, no matter what you did to me. You’re like my brother. I hate you, but I love you. It's like monarchy and democracy.”
“…that made no sense at all.”
“Just because I’m advanced in political sciences doesn’t mean I’m actually speaking a different language, and it won't be so no matter how many times you say that,” Will scoffed and said preemptively. “You artists and your weird brains.”
Merlin looked down at his hands and Will said, “Seriously, Merlin, stop reading these, okay? I’ll deal with them.”
Merlin frowned but nodded. He was used to letting Will fight for him. Merlin liked to bring peace, and Will liked to argue, and they usually balanced each other out.
Usually.
Will started clicking and typing furiously, his look getting more and more smug every few clicks.
“…what are you doing?” Merlin asked as he opened one of his art programs. Art goofing was good. Making a few wallpapers or some texture packs always relaxed him. And it’s been, oddly, a while, and his last one did get almost a thousand downloads…let Will deal with this. He was the git that liked to argue politics at every turn, politics and everything else...
“Responding to the little fuckers,” Will said. “And hah! Marion’s online, and she already responded back to me…that cunt!”
“Will!”
“You read what she wrote!”
Merlin relented, his classmate’s words running through his head over and over again, calling him a liar and a genefuck and saying he should disappear in the middle of the night like all the other mutants everyone has heard about on the news since childhood.
Merlin remembered her coming to his tenth birthday party and bringing a box of biscuits she’d made herself, complete with the recipe so he could make some more on his own – or rather, with his mother – later if he so wished.
Last night, it had been that comment in particular which caused Merlin to break down and sob his guts up as he realized just the levels of hate now being directed at him from childhood friends.
Mum had found him trembling in his bed like that when she got him, and he had cried into her shoulder.
Dead embarrassing, actually, but she had soothed him, then told him to finish his summer homework he’d procrastinated and gone to make dinner. The fact that homework was now a comfort made Merlin wonder if it was some kind of statement about his life, now.
“She’s a bitch,” Will scoffed as he typed. “Unfriend her. Unfriend all these stupid motherf-”
“Will!” Merlin knew he should be used to Will’s foul mouth by now, but really, this was just a bit much. Merlin didn't warrant that. Did he?
“She just told me I should kick you out of my house before…”
“…before what, Will?”
“Before you bring it down on our heads,” Will muttered.
“…you agree with her,” Merlin said. His tactile empathy had given him the skill to discern people’s emotions even without touching them, but he wasn't sure he would have needed that to see the answer on Will's face.
“That you can bring it down? Yes,” Will said, keeping his eyes locked on his screen. “That you will bring it down? No. I already told her just what she can do with her stupid opinions.”
And after a bit, he said, “Check your Wall, now, and mine.”
Hesitatingly, Merlin logged on and checked. The posts were still heart-wrenching. But Will had responded to all of them in his usual cheeky and angry way, calling them all hypocrites for remaining friends with drunk drivers and yet not Merlin, and going on rants about the damage he suffered compared to the victims of the aforementioned drivers’ victims and generally using his logical rage that made his blog such a popular hit.
On his own Wall, Will posted that Merlin was his best friend and anyone who hurt him would have to answer to Will-
“Don’t read the comment,” Will said suddenly.
Merlin reloaded the page and read the comment, anyway.
It was a link to a webtest to see if you were being mind-controlled by a mutant.
“…I told you not to read it,” Will said.
Merlin just stared at his screen, remembering his friend, with the freshly baked treats just for him, telling him how much she hated him.
On the first day of school, Will never left Merlin’s side if he could help it, glaring at everyone from his wheel chair.
A few people were still nice to them both. Some admonished Merlin just for losing control, rather than being a mutant, and wishing Will to get better, and Merlin held on to their faces, their relatively kind words.
Because most people were the exact opposite of that.
The taunts, the dirty looks, rained down on him alongside school supplies thrown at him, all day long.
Halfway through the day, someone threw a book at him in the hallway, laughing. It was a hardcover, and Merlin stopped it in midair, before letting it drop right in front of him.
Between that and the next class, Will was forced to leave him, as he wasn’t in Merlin’s art class.
At the end of the say, Mum had to come pick him up from school, after he was too covered in bruises and scratches and a slightly twisted ankle and a sprained wrist to be able to make the long walk home.
By the end of the week, he was pulled out of school entirely.
That night, Will came with pizza and some soda, making Merlin float him from the wheelchair to the sofa and spread out the pizza and soda over the table as they studied together – or pretended to study, anyway – and Merlin had just a few cups and slices, and he lay on the couch and said, “You’re still afraid of me.”
“…yeah.”
“Mum won’t let me touch her skin-to-skin, either, anymore,” Merlin said quietly. She tried to hide it, yapping about cold weather as she started wearing more gloves and long sleeve shirts, but Merlin saw how careful she was being when she touched him, and remembered his childhood of hard times when she tried to hide her emotions from him, and he knew what was really happening.
“Merlin…you…we…”
He just continued to stare at the ceiling.
“I went to see the orthopedist, today,” Will said.
Merlin’s blood stilled. “Oh?” he croaked out.
“…I’ll be in this thing-” he gestured towards the wheelchair. “For a while. I’ll…I’ll eventually learn to walk, but…” He sighed. “Professional rugby is pretty much out of the picture.”
Merlin shut his eyes, feeling tears well up. “I’m sorry.”
Silence.
“Well…we both knew it would end with me in politics, anyway…just a little faster than I expected…”
His voice was shaky. It was clear what he thought.
“I took away your future,” Merlin said. Will didn’t deny it. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” Will didn’t try to stop him, either.
There was another tense silence, before Will said, “I…I always loved rugby. Always.”
And Merlin knew this – he’d been there when Will first found his love of rugby, watched as it grew on him, as he rose up the ranks as a star, as he looked seriously towards professional levels and…and…
“I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely.
Will didn’t respond.
After Will left, Merlin curled up on his side in the bed and murmured into the ether, “Whatever I did to make you hate me so much, I’m sorry,” murmuring to whoever made him a mutant, made him like this. I’m sorry. Are you happy, now?
The online classes and independent study were all right, but lonely.
And he no longer could go onto online forums to find someone to talk to, not after the Forum Raids from several years before. How could he forget the waves of disappearing mutants, their information gathered from some seemingly well-intentioned forums and online groups? How could anyone forget?
No one wanted to disappear in the middle of the night.
…it was lonely.
After two weeks, Merlin came home from trying to relax in the isolated parks to see his mum crying on the couch, an ended video on the television screen.
“Mum?” he asked tentatively, approaching her on the couch softly.
She sniffed and said, “This…this is the video that was used during…during the trial for…for the attack.”
Without further explanation and going only on her tone and reaction, Merlin knew which attack she was talking about.
“The lawyers tried to argue that your father’s murder was justified,” she said. “They tried to use this video as proof. It nearly worked, too. And your father had told me to switch on the camera so we could just…charge them for harassment, when they came. We didn’t…”
Merlin slowly couched before the television and rewound the video, before hitting ‘PLAY’.
It was a scene of a lawn, and immediately, he saw his father, Balinor Emrys, standing on a lawn, surrounded by half a dozen people, locked in confrontation. With a squint, he recognized their shirts – one of the older logos for the ever feared Dark Knights.
Merlin watched as one of them pulled something out of a bag, and threw it in the camera’s general direction. He heard shattering glass from just beyond the camera’s sight, and his breath hitched as he heard his mother’s screamed.
“HEY!” his father shouted. “Stay away from my family!”
“It ain’t your family we’re interested in,” a girl said. “It’s you, the man that hurt my brothers, last week.”
“They shouldn’t have been hurting that poor man-”
“He isn’t a man,” another boy shouted. “He’s a mutant.”
He watched as their shouted descended to physical fighting, the people being pushed back, but not hurt, by Balinor.
He watched as his mum suddenly appeared, grabbing a shovel and trying to use it to pry a man off his father, and felt his blood boil when the man turned and twisted the shovel out of her hands and swung it and hit her head with it. He could hear the thwack of the impact, and the dull thud as she landed in a shifting heap on the ground.
“HUNITH!” his father shouted, and Merlin watched as the attackers were all thrown well away, like Will, so much like Will, exactly like Will, and then his father was on the ground, clutching at his mother and muttering something, as behind him, the girl pushed herself and pulled out a gun from her waistband.
At the last second, Balinor turned at Mum’s cry and her pointing.
The girl raised the gun, and Balinor twisted to shield Mum.
“Fucking mutant,” the girl spat. “Not even human.”
And Balinor jumped to push her away from Mum.
Bang.
Merlin watched in horror as his father’s body fell to the ground. The girl and one other man, the only other conscious one, ran away to a car and drove away, and Merlin watched as his mother clutched at his father’s body, wailing and sobbing.
“Those three,” she said from behind him, her hand appearing in the edge of his vision to point out three of the attackers’ bodies on screen. “They’re dead. Killed on impact.”
He gasped at the knowledge that his father had killed people.
Killed them with the very same power that ran now in Merlin’s veins.
He watched as the lawn was flooded with emergency services, ambulances taking people away, police officers talking to Mum and neighbors and observing the scene.
Talking to one of the officers, Mum disappeared, and then the camera was being picked up, and then the screen went black.
Merlin reached for her hand, and she didn’t pull away.
He felt fear.
Even if his mother wasn’t scared of him – if – she was terrified of the possibilities.
It came to a head when a week after that, Mum lost her job.
“I was just laid off, sweetie,” she said, tears in her eyes anyway. “Money and shaky economy and all – they had to let go of me.”
She was the only one let go. She was in management, and Merlin knew she was one of the core people who would’ve only been let go in the most extraordinary of circumstances.
“It’s for the best, anyway, the environment hasn’t been the best,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Just…they’ve heard about you. But I can ignore it.”
“Mum,” he said, horror and guilt thriving in his blood. “What was going on?”
She sighed. “The usual nasty words about you. When I defended you…well, you don’t need to know.”
“Yes, Mum, I do!”
“Merlin,” she said sternly.
Merlin grasped her hands in his own – these days, he wore the gloves, now, for her reassurance, mostly. “Mum – please…what was going on?”
She shut her eyes and told him, told him about the taunting she too endured for still loving her son after what he’d done, for keeping him, for defending him…the abuses she endured.
Merlin choked, sobbing, as she told him what they called her for being the mother of a mutant.
He hugged her close.
And in his mind, he was already making his plans.
He was packing by the next day.
Packed, unpacked, packed again, unpacked again. At one point, he had an entire suitcase packed, unloaded it, then just a large overnight back and his backpack, unloaded those…
Then he ended with just his school bag.
Taking a deep breath, Merlin packed just two changes of clothes, his wallet, a sketchbook and a small pencil box, and one of those airport-sized toiletry kits. And that was it, all he could fit into the bag. He’d considered his laptop, then decided against it. It was old and bulky and heavy and would only weigh him down. He was also leaving behind his mobile – he cancelled the contract, so his mum would have a little more money for herself, and so the police couldn’t trace him if they decided to come after him.
The bag was light when he shouldered it. His whole life, packed into a single schoolbag.
It was still early autumn, but he dressed warmly, anyways.
He had eaten well at dinner a few hours before, getting as much as he could of Mum’s cooking, so for now, he just took several snacks for the night and the next day.
He left a note for his mum. He'd penned multiple letters and thrown them away, again and again. In the end, he gave up, just printing out a copy of her favorite stationary he'd made for her, and wrote simply, Don't worry about me. He knew how utterly insufficient it was, but it was all he could do, for now. He left it next to his phone on the desk.
As he walked down the street, he realized what it meant, to run away completely from...everything. After compressing everything of his life into a bag, and transferring money from his own bank account online to his mum’s to cover the bills she would have trouble with as she jobsearched, he had almost no money left to his name. Maybe enough for a few cheap meals, if that.
But he’d make it. He had to – he had no other choice.
There was nothing left for him to do but run.
Next Chapter >>
Master Post
Like I said, I had a shit day, so please leave some comments as they make me happy. ♥
This is the end of the Prologue, so I may take a week's break for coding and writing, depending on my life and scheduling (neither of which are really up to me at this point), and post again in March with the first chapter of Part 1.
