ext_114546 ([identity profile] icarusfallenx13.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] nyxelestia 2009-11-22 03:45 pm (UTC)

Very interesting job~ I like how you worked the situation. Just a I guess a pet peeve of mine: the beeps were pretty effective but I feel that the italics and the stretching the 'e's at the end were a bit obtrusive to a very, very private moment the the story.

But, really good writing :)

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