Euphoria, Chapter 01: Mercy

[nyxelestia]

Title: Euphoria

Rating: R

Summary: When with his veins flooded with heroin and suppressing his magic and even when he rides on the chemical bliss, Merlin's magic still sings for Arthur. And Arthur has answered the call. Short little one-shot for now, may expand later.

Pairing: Arthur/Merlin

Warnings: prostitution, drug abuse

Episode warnings: None

Beta: jusmine984 

Song: "Mercy" by OneRepublic

Listen Here (YouTube video, song + Lyrics)
Watch Here (YouTube, official music video)

 

~*~

Don't miss the companion piece!: Bliss (Arthur's POV of this chapter)

~*~

Merlin stumbles into the club, and promptly heads over to a bloke who’s looking between young men, almost boys, at the bar, all doing their best to display themselves while still wearing clothes. It reminds him of Arthur’s last lifetime, the bloody hippie stage, and god, Merlin wanted to go back.

But, it was the twenty-first century, now. Things are different.

“E’lo,” Merlin murmurs into the man’s ear, doing his best to stand straight and look like he isn’t high off his arse and on the verge of coming down. The man turns – he’s about 40-ish, light eyes, pale skin, black hair with some shocks of grey – and leers at Merlin.

“Hand job’s a tenner. Blow you for a twenty,” Merlin murmurs.

“And to fuck you?”

“Fifty,” Merlin breathes into the man’s ear. “For each time I can make you come.”

The man breathes in sharply, and Merlin takes the man’s wrist and tugs towards the side-door, towards the closed off alley. He’s on the brink of coming down hard, so he needs to get that money fast.

Once out in the alley, Merlin turns to face the man, who pushes on Merlin’s shoulders – he gets the message. Dropping to his knees, Merlin undoes the man’s fly while calloused fingers run through and clutch his hair. He swallows the man, slathering the cock as much as he can, knowing what’s likely coming next.

A moment later, he’s proven right. The man initially uses his grip in Merlin’s hair to push down, thrusting his cock into Merlin’s throat, who’s simply too used to this to care much anymore. He had learned how to deep throat a thousand and a half years ago, and he hasn’t forgotten yet.

The man then drags Merlin’s head off his cock and pulls Merlin up by his hair.

“Drop your pants,” the man says, and Merlin’s hands fly almost automatically towards his jeans, undoing his own fly and shoving the black denim down, and spreads his legs as best as he can for the man.

As expected, the man is brutal, ruthless, and doesn’t last long.

He shoves sixty into Merlin’s hands after he’s done tucking himself back in. Merlin just gets up and heads out of the club altogether.

Today is Arthur’s birthday. Merlin felt his magic sing two decades back to the day, and he couldn’t deal with the entire cycle again. He managed mostly just by avoiding Arthur – went in the opposite direction of where his magic told him to go – and only a few years back, discovered that his magic being practically suppressed by drugs was worth the high.

~*~

“Drake…” Merlin says, stumbling into the large room on the ground floor of the flophouse. The man looks up – just a few years older than Merlin supposedly was, and looking far too nice and well groomed to be a drug dealer.

“Hello, Merlin,” he said, with a slight smirk as always. “What do you need, today?”

Merlin just sets the entire wad of bills on the table, and Drake counts it, with a nod.

Sitting in a duct-tape supported sofa chair, Merlin waits as Drake disappears to the back room, before he comes back, handing Merlin the rubber strip and the needle.

“Still need help?” Drake offers. Merlin had switched over to heroin only recently, just a few weeks ago.

His magic suffered for it. The rest of him was convinced it was worth it.

Shaking his head, Merlin mumbles his thanks before grabbing both needle and tourniquet and stumbling up the stairs, and to his ‘room’ on the third floor. He collapses on the pallet in the corner, and immediately flips out the blade on his pocket knife, before tying the rubber around his arm. He looks and feels carefully for a good vein, and sticks himself, injects, and promptly cuts the tourniquet.

And he’s flooded with bliss, and melts away into euphoria.

~*~

“Oi, Merlin,” Drake says, stopping in his door. “Rent. Now.”

Blinking slowly up at the man, Merlin says, “No money.”

Drake just cocks his head to the side and smirks. “Blow me and we’ll consider it paid ‘til the end of the week.”

Nodding, Merlin pushes himself up and onto his knees as Drake walks over, undoing his fly, and with no preamble, grabs Merlin’s hair and shoves his dick into the waiting mouth.

Merlin puts his usual amount of effort into it, and Drake is thrusting into Merlin’s mouth, soon enough, and then shoving his dick down Merlin’s throat, straight to the hilt, and trapping Merlin’s head there as he came, Merlin grimacing and swallowing what he can.

Drake pulls out, and there’s a thin string of leftover cum across the one-inch space between Merlin’s lips and the man’s prick. Drake smiles and, taking his cock, trails it across Merlin’s lips and jaw, and a bit on his cheek, before practically throwing Merlin onto the pallet. He doesn’t move from there, just continues to stare up at the ceiling as Drake leaves.

He hears thuds from next door. Someone was going at it like bunnies again. Loud music from above. Acid trip. A crash down stairs. Hopefully, someone was punching Drake again. The yelling confirmed it.

Smiling, he shut his eyes, and started humming in tune with the loud music.

“Merlin!” he hears, in an oddly familiar voice from way down the hall.

Whoever it is probably went by Drake, so it wasn’t Merlin’s problem yet, until they showed up at his door.

“Merlin?”

Thuds down the hall, and the creak of the doorway.

“Oh, god…Merlin!”

Merlin slowly turns his head. The man is blond, with blue eyes, and a stricken look on his face.

He frowns. The bloke reminds him of-

Oh. It is Arthur.

The frown deepens. “Huh?” he just asks, completely confused, pushing himself up to study Arthur.

Hm. Two decades spent avoiding the man, and he apparently skips out on his birthday to find a random druggie in a random flophouse.

Except the way he’s looking at Merlin is anything but random.

“Merlin,” the man says, this time his name coming out in almost a breath, as the horror gives way to grief, except for what, Merlin doesn’t know.

And the look of horror returns when Merlin inches away upon Arthur’s return, ignoring the sparks of magic, deep, deep, deep within him telling him otherwise.

“Go away,” is the first thing he manages. First thing he says to the man in over a quarter century.

“Merlin,” Arthur says, crouching by the pallet, and reaching out for Merlin, holding his hand back when Merlin flinches away. “Please, you know me.”

“Exa’ly,” Merlin slurs out. “So go away.”

The look on Arthur’s face hardens.

“I…we…you’re high!”

Merlin nodded, laughing. “Yup!”

“And you’re…” Arthur is staring at his cheek, where Drake’s cum has dried into a crust. He was planning to clean that off tomorrow.

“Just go away,” Merlin moaned. “I’ve had enough.”

Now the prat looked as determined as he used to just before a tournament back in Camelot, and he reaches out and Merlin tries to push himself away, but Arthur grabs hold of Merlin’s upper arm in a vice like grip.

Merlin gasps as what feels like electricity, like he’s being tasered (again), passes between him and Arthur, and judging by the mirrored gasp and look of shock on Arthur’s face, he feels the exchange of power, too.

But he doesn’t let go.

Merlin feebly pulls at his arm, but Arthur’s grip remains tight.

“You idiot,” Arthur murmurs, not a drop of affection lost over the last fifteen hundred years, over the last twenty five years since Arthur’s last death, or…or…

Merlin pulls at his arm again. “Please, Arthur…I don’t…I can’t do this again.”

“Let’s get you clean, first,” Arthur said. “Then we’ll worry about what we can and can’t do.”

Merlin moans. “Please, no, I can’t watch you live and die again, watch you age again, without me, I can’t…I can’t…I c-can’t…”

“Sh…”

Merlin’s dry sobbing, desperately trying to push Arthur away, but only succeeding in losing the support his arms provided, and landing on his back on the pallet again.

Arthur takes a look around the empty room, at Merlin, and sighs. He pulls out a set of keys from his pocket to have ready in his hands, before Merlin’s arm is released, and he feels strong arms under his knee and shoulders. He tries again to push away, but they both know the attempts are half-hearted as Arthur carries Merlin out the door.

Merlin suspects he’ll never see his room again.

“You’re all skin and bones…even worse than that famine in…what was it, fifteenth century?”

Merlin just tiredly leans his head into Arthur’s shoulder, and feels Arthur tense a little – the cum is still dried up on his face – but the man just cradles Merlin even closer to his strong chest, and Merlin wonders what sport Arthur got into, this time.

“Hey!” Oh, there’s Drake. “Where are you taking him?”

“Somewhere safe, decent, and civilized,” Arthur said. “And no, he’s never coming back.”

“Don’t you dare-”

“What, you care? Or are you just sorry to lose a client?”

“You little-”

“You take another step, and I will run you through with a chair leg. I’ve been in rugby since I was five, so don’t think I can’t.”

There’s a pause, then, “Just get the fuck out of here.”

Merlin turns tiredly towards Drake one last time, who stares at Merlin’s cheek where he marked Merlin earlier, and shakes his head, before turning into his backroom.

All of a sudden, Merlin doesn’t mind the rescue.

Arthur has a nice Lexus, red, very recent, and very expensive. It’s a wonder someone hasn’t tried to steal it, yet.

Merlin manages to stand long enough to let Arthur open the door, and then Arthur is buckling him in, gently, almost reverently, like Merlin is made of glass, while Merlin blinks sleepily at Arthur, squinting at him at times in the dim streetlight, and tracks him as he shuts the door, before moving in front of the car and into the driver’s seat.

“It’s okay, Merlin,” Arthur murmurs. “Go to sleep. You’re safe, now.”

Merlin smiles, nods, and mumbles, “Bloody noble prat.”

Starting the car and rolling his eyes, Arthur smiles and says, “I know.”

The gentle movements of the car and the presence of Arthur next to him sways Merlin to sleep in no time.
 

~*~

A/N: Please be nice and review for the humble little author who now has to go off and memorize the first fifty elements of the periodic table while bashing self for signing up for freakin' Honors Chemistry.

ETA: tightshorts has made some art for the fic. ^_^

Next Chapter

Comments

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

Meh - I tend to prefer vaguely historically accurate AU. ^_^ (Considering that that's apparently the only way I can get Merlin the Kama Sutra, I'm sticking to it. ^_^)

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

Actually, vaguely historically accurate AU probably is best, since it means you can avoid all those awkward moments like when you spend ages agonising over whether they even wore trousers or something like that...

(...You got Merlin the Kama Sutra?)

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

On my post on what period to best place Merlin in, I had to add a meta at the bottom that I knew just how anachronistic the show was, and I just wanted to know how believable I can make Merlin getting the Kama Sutra, in terms of international trade in relation to the time period.

:D

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

Ah, the question of how anachronistic you're allowed to be in relation to the show before it all starts getting silly (eg. Uther buying a brand new car). ...Did you manage it in the end?

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

Meh - I haven't actually done it yet (I've got about a million plotbunnies all over the place), but I think it would, in fact, be quite far out there, unless I get Merlin traveling, and get him to travel the world using magic as a 'shortcut'.

...though to that end, I've gotten visions of him ending up in the Americas largely by chance and learning magic from there (consider the Native Americans connections with animals, it would largely explain his more 'natural' magics in the legends), there, as well as Africa and East Asia and all that...

:D

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know the feeling of many, many plotbunnies lurking in all sorts of ingenious and devious hiding places. It's sort of annoying actually, since I'll be flicking through a notebook, find this scribbled idea and think `now why didn't I write that instead that crap other thing?` It's a little demoralising.

Merlin Around the World sounds like a good idea, actually. It'd be really interesting to see how deals with other forms of magic - whether they're just as natural for him or whether he actually has a bad reaction to them or something. It'd be interesting if Merlin and Arthur were (somehow) in another country where they used different magic and Merlin was the one reacting badly to it. ...Damn you!

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

*evil grin*

*starts looking for Poking Stick*

So, would this other country be just on the continental areas, or would he end up in the Americas? (I can see lots of potential for traditionally Merlin-style magic coming from them, somehow, considering their shamans, nature, and animals and all those kinds of connections that they are famed for having).

Or, is he in Africa? Or Asia? I imagine that would be quite weird, in and of it's own right.

Oh, and, how'd Arthur get involved? And if Merlin's having a bad reaction, how does he handle it? And if Merlin is adapting to all these new magics a bit too well, how does he handle it?

And would this involve the Kama Sutra? I could just see them stumbling across it and deciding they needed to test it all out for themselves, you know, just to make sure and all that.

And, DUDE, maybe all the old legends about strangers you get in cultures around the WORLD are because of Merlin?

...*iz on crack*

...well, actually, no - I just had a lot of sugar and two Starbucks lattes (and no whip, no foam, to boot, which means even MORE coffee than I'm supposed to).

This has led to a crackfic and multiple plot bunnies on my part, so now I'm making everyone else around me suffer by giving THEM plot bunnies (especially as I'm still waiting for 201 to load so I can watch it!)

...I just typed that entire thing up in like ten seconds flat or something...

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

...I hate you. I really, really hate you. And yet I may have to friend you.

I kinda imagined Merlin reacting well - possibly too well - to the native American and African magics, since they're both based very strongly in nature and towards the end of the series you see Merlin using a lot of `natural` (as in nature's) magic, with the wind in Ealdor or the lightning on the Isle of the Blessed. (That's partly the reason for my theory about Merlin's dad, actually.) Weather magic always connects in my head with Africa for some reason (I blame the LXG film), so Merlin might feel quite natural there. Both cultures revolve around nature though, which seems pretty close to what they're trying to set up with the Old Religion.

This could just be from the stuff I've read that does some contrast between Eastern and Western magic, but I think Merlin might not react very well to magic in somewhere like Asia. Around the time Merlin could be set (yes, we'll argue about that again some other time), places like China would be quite powerful, and judging by descriptions they'd be very claustrophobic for people used to somewhere like England/Albion/Land of the Angles/whatever. Seeing as Merlin's magic is mostly natural, he start feeling a bit ill around all the incense and stuff that they used (although I do admit that I know next to nothing about the details for their magic). I just think the difference between the styles of magic wouldn't be that good for someone whose magic is in them rather than learnt.

That said, I can imagine that the reverse - taking a bit too well to the magic - could be pretty bad too, like if he got a bit too into a spirit walk and started losing touch with the human side of things.

Probably no Kama Sutra though, because I am a wuss about these things.

Hmm, Merlin as the Cultural Stranger. It's definitely an idea! #gets out own Poking Stick#

Oh God, not coffee! That said, last fic I finished was written at about 3 in the morning after consuming most of a bottle of vodka and caffeine. Drunk and hyper, it's a deadly combination.

Ah yes, the fast-typed posts. Sorry this wasn't so stream-of-consciousness-y, although it's still long and ill-considered...

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

...I hate you. I really, really hate you. And yet I may have to friend you.

Done. :D

Hm...Indian/Arabic magic would likely be a bit more in line with that whole thing about incense and "claustrophobic" methods. China, was also big on animals, though yeah, it was less about harnessing them and more about using them, so to speak, so I guess you have a valid point.

But the reverse of it, Merlin getting too into it, sounds even more fun. I can just see Arthur running after a dazed Merlin and trying to shake him into sense. :D

Aw, no Kama Sutra? Pity - maybe you can use this as a change to broaden your horizons...?

#gets out own Poking Stick#

@_@ Uh...

And yeah, cultural stranger would be good. What I would actually find interesting would be the Aztec and Japanese societies - why it is their societies are made up of dark-skinned people, but they hold a special reverence for the light skinned? :D

And, drunk and hyper sounds fun. I've done drunk and I've done hyper, but never both at the same time. ^_^

Anyway...*prod* FICCY BEING WRITTENZ, NAO? ^_^

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

#winces# Yeah, Indian/Arabic (Araaaabian niiiights) magic would be a lot closer to what I was thinking of. See? See my lack of knowledge? Then again, some Wikipedia/insert-more-reliable-internet-source-here time would be needed for both/either idea(s). And as for Arthur trying to snap Merlin out of it, it's a mental image that I've been wanting to write/see for a while now. In my head, it seems to mainly consist of Big Meaningful Kissing. Strange, that.

Nuu! My horizons shall remain unbroadened! Begone, foul temptress of bad fic porn!

That is indeed an interesting cultural thing (didn't realise the Japanese had it too), especially since you don't get the equivalent in light-skinned cultures. Care to offer a fic explanation? #wink wink#

To be fair, it wasn't proper drunk, just a very hyper form of tipsy... Consisted of talking fast, twitching and having this weird desire to start scribbling weird fic.

Er, re: fic writing, at the moment if I'm writing anything, it should be ADD (X-Men slash fic that will haunt me 'til death) and it most likely will be either the `omg, eyes!` Merlin fic or the one based around a concept stolen from Doctor Who. That said, I will probably start this fic too, then forget it, only to perhaps finish it craply whilst avoiding work...

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

Hah, I can imagine Arthur spending days and days on end trying to snap Merlin out of some dreamwalk or something, and kiss him in a moment of frustration, only to have Merlin snap out of it immediately. :D

Or, actually, in Native American shamanism, when they go on meditative journeys or whatever, they usually have a queue or symbol with someone else who is still on Earth, so I can imagine Merlin making Arthur kiss him to snap him out of it. (Helps that almost every tribe has a 'Two-Spirit' ^_^)

And cooooooome on...you know you want to. Think about it: Merlin finds a book of sex positions that are known to help clarity of mind and make you wise and whatnot...Merlin is willing to do anything to help Arthur on his journey to become a good king...and I'm pretty sure there are at least 64 different positions (though some of them require *ahem* outside party involvement...I'm sure Gwen, Morgana, or even Lancelot would be happy to help! ^_^)

Care to offer a fic explanation? #wink wink#

See, the point of me giving you all these random suggestions is to get a fic out of you.:D *blatantly ignores the new batch of plot bunnies that comes with every reply* <_< And, I know the feeling. ^_^

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

I love how your mental image is Arthur kissing Merlin out of sheer frustration more than anything else. Which seems pretty in character to me, actually. Your bit of knowledge seems intriguing though. Would the locals (shorter and easier to type) warn Merlin about what can happen? Maybe advise him to have somebody on Earth to keep hold of him? Or would Merlin, acting as he always does, just go blundering in and manages to reach out to Arthur for help (or hears/senses Arthur trying to get hold of him)? ...Right, I guess this is getting written at SOME point then...

Are we talking about a whole other fic for the Kama Sutra? Because that's just being demanding. Although I am tempted to try one just to see how little sex I can mention, just in revenge. ;P You seem to have put a lot more thought into it though...

And why does it have to only be a one-way thing? If I'm suffering, I'm taking you down too!

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

Well, for dream walks and spiritual journeys and whatnot, it would kind of depend on what tribe and what type of magic and whatnot. Some times, there have been 'meditative journeys' around the world which demand a person on Earth to bring the person back in time to not die or whatever (because they'll likely starve to death if left to their own devices).

And, if you're planning to have Merlin travel the world, just weave the Kama Sutra in. He finds out, and throughout your lovely story, every time he and/or Arthur need a specific type of clarity of mind, they consult the Kama Sutra for help. ^_^

Also: NO! I have too many things to do as is!

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

Hmm, have you ever read `The End of Mr Y`? Because, while it's not obviously based on dreamwalks (despite the similarities), there is the idea in there of having to get someone out of their little mental trip before they die, mainly because time passes differently there to the real world. The only problem is that to do that, someone or something has to be in the mind-world to be able to drag that person out. Of course, you know that Arthur would act exasperated if he had to do that Merlin, despite being really worried underneath. ;D

Ack, I was just going to do the Native Americans, not the whole world. Trust me, I fail at world knowledge. I kinda prefer the idea of the Kama Sutra somehow getting to Camelot via trade or a traveller and Merlin finding it.

I don't at the moment, but I have uni soon? ...Yes, my excuses fail, fine...

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

OOH, Merlin finding the Kama Sutra in the market...:D I can just imagine Arthur finding that! (And/or Gaius. ^_^)

Eh - my excuses fail, too, but I made them first. ^_^

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

Special shiny markets are the win of convenient objects in plots. And I can just imagine Merlin trying to hide it from Gaius like porn. He already has the guilty `oh, what, no, nothing here` expression down perfectly.

Dammit! Damn you and your cunning planning ways!

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

You know, the Kama Sutra isn't strictly magical so much as spiritual, so if Uther is in a good mood, he won't even execute Merlin if he finds it!

...then again, depending on his mood, he might also decide that the spiritual and mental cleansing effects are worth testing the book out for...and if Merlin just so happens to be conveniently there...

*has recently fallen hard for Merlin/Uther*

:D

And as for me and my cunning, planning ways - you ain't seen nothing yet, honey. ^_^ Wait until I get you on IM and I've had a bad day and need fic and poking something to cheer me up. ^_^

[special-schizo.livejournal.com]

Merlin/Uther? Sounds...intriguing. #seriously had never considered this pairing and doesn't think late at night was the best time# Although re:KS, I prefer the idea that Merlin and Arthur aren't the first generation of servant and royal to try it. Gaius strikes me as somebody who did some travelling in his youth (not to Asia, but maybe picking it up somewhere).

Now I am frightened. And hiding. #hides#

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

Well, consider Merlin/Uther now. ^_^ Though the idea of Merlin and Arthur repeating history like that would be awesome, especially with all the Gaius/Uther slash we see. ^_^

*comes and finds you* >:D